Wednesday, July 29, 2009

boat trips...













One thing I love about Turkey in the summer are the boat trips you can take. Turkey is in a unique geographic position where it is surrounded by three seas. Kara deniz(black sea to the north, Ege deniz(aegean sea) to the west and Ak Deniz (Mediterranean Sea) to the south. Most seaside cities have a daily boat trip or tons. The photo above was taken from the Polis Kamp beach in Didim and as you can see there are various sizes and adventures for your liking. Some are for relaxing, swimming, and site seeing others are loud party tours, others scuba diving and you can also rent private boats for a day or several days to tour the coasts. All depending from which city you start from. We have gone on ones before from Kaş, another in Fethiye.


















Most recently a scuba diving trip out of Bodrum.













My favorite are the wooden sail boats, pirate ships. My husband and I dream of having one...some day! Family- when you all come some day- it will happen we can rent one for a few days and sail around the coast. Also to "my girls" I plan to do this with you all some day too!


















My cute hubby getting ready for his first dive.


















Learning...













Beautiful secluded coastlines.


















Too pregnant to scuba dive but enjoying the ride.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Birth...different vs. same


















When I travel I embrace the differences I find in a culture. A different way of doing things, making things, different food, and ideas. I can honestly say I have been saddened at times to find some big foreign cities looking a little to much like America but the part America I don't care for either with strip malls and fast food joints.

But the longer I live abroad the more of a treat it is to drink an OCCASIONAL Starbucks or order a Mcdonald's cheeseburger...the familiar...

We went to the doctor yesterday. We had our ultrasound and got to see our little one. The doctor said she is looking really healthy and tall, inşallah! I am feeling good and so is my husband so I know this is what is important but...

About a month ago I asked our doctor about hospitals and informed her I want a natural birth as long as everything is going well. She said the local Didim hospital was fine for natural births and that we had plenty of time to think about all that(still three months at the time). So we just touched on it lightly then.

Well we went yesterday(a month later) and I asked again about the hospital. She started to describe it...

One room you labor in with two beds and maybe you are alone or maybe another women is laboring in there with you...ok...then she proceeds to say that no one is allowed in the room- especially men- meaning even my husband can't come in...ok...fight back the tears emily...She said I would be in the room by myself with a mid-wife who speaks only Turkish occasionally being checked on by her, my doctor(who speaks English and has been really good so far for the record). After I labor the baby out(which can take several hours), basically by myself with no laboring partner which is typical in America-a partner, I am then watched for 6 hours and then moved to my private room where my husband can come in finally with other family....

I couldn't hold them back anymore! Balling hysterically! This news brought visions of myself in an impersonal, inhospitable concrete room since all buildings are made of concrete around here-the paint chipping away-as it often does. The room is hot in temperature most likely since "we"(meaning they) wouldn't want me or the baby to get sick- remember there is this fear of the cold in this culture. Me-alone except for a strange mid-wife who only speaks Turkish to hold my hand and smile at me. All while confined to the bed and not allowed to move(even though I want to be moving and changing positions alot) until I painfully pop my first child out all while some other Turkish lady lay laboring next to me. All with just a Turkish toilet in the hall to use. And I can only see my husband and in-laws 6 hours after the whole ordeal. No husband or support to swear at, to massage me, to get me cold water, to make me laugh when I want to cry. Or to speak English with!

This is all still two months away. I know I am partially just being a hormonal pregnant woman and picturing the worst but partially this sounds awful and like nightmare not a beautiful birthing experience. I also just get sad some days that I am having our child miles away from my family and my mom and sister can't come here anymore even though it is for very important reasons. Although my dear friend and her mother have offered to come...but will they be allowed in?

I know that people have been having babies for millions of years under much less glamorous circumstances but I am just scared. It is my first baby, far from home and my only real family/support here, my husband is not allowed next to me. I just want to feel comfortable and at least slightly in control of the whole situation.

In USA, and England I know for sure, it is common for you and your labor partner(most likely your husband) to go through birthing classes together where you learn what to expect for the most part. How to breath through the contractions, how your partner can help you through them with holding techniques, coaching and massage. Your partner is always allowed in the room with you. Also most people write a birthing plan- a letter stating their wants and needs for the birth. It can be looked at as a beautiful bonding experience instead of just lonely painful one while my husband smokes cigarettes outside unaware of what is happening.

In Turkey they have nothing like this. No preparatory classes. Ok so rarely. I wonder if this is why so many of the women I have talked to chose cesarean sections over natural births-FEAR-fear of the unknown?

As I balled in the doctors office my doctor assured me several times she would help me but how exactly? She also reminded me that I speak Turkish- but not that well I reminded her! My husband and my mother-in-law both assured me they would find a way into the room by contacting the head of the hospital or stealing doctors lab coats to sneak in. I know they will do it too:)

I know it will all get worked out. Our baby will come. I need to build myself up and hold strong to what I want though!

We are going to go see the hospital next week so I can actually picture myself in the "dreaded room". Does my baby stay with me after she is born? This is important to me. Also if I still don't feel comfortable with it all we will have to find a different hospital.

There I wrote it down, I released it, Now I need to move forward and know my baby will be coming soon whether I love my laboring situation or not.

The most important is that she is healthy. She is moving right now as I sit still feverishly typing this all out:)

And to relate it back to the top...different is good. I still love and appreciate the differences between Turkish life and my American life but this is one time I want Starbucks to come to me or what ever -I want the same- The familiar- -how I always imagined it-I want my birthing classes, my husband informed and with me at the birth. Empowerment. Deep breathes!


















We are getting her room ready!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Column: Eskişehir and helping hands...


















This is one of the painted domed ceilings of a mosque in the Odun Pazarı, old part of Eskişehir.

Another of my columns, A JOURNEY WITHIN came out through Voices Altinkum Newspaper here in Didim.

In this story I reminisce about first coming to Eskişehir and the people that helped us along the way.

ESKIŞEHIR means old city in Turkish but is actually known as a very modern, young person’s city or student city because of the two large universities located there, Anadolu Üniversitesi and Ozmangazi Üniversitesi. It is this Anatolian city located between İstanbul and Ankara where I spent my first months in Turkey through my student exchange in 2007.


















The keeper of the Korans(not the man I speak about in my article.)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sweat, Tears and the Sea


















I feel as if there is a giant blow dryer on high pointed at Turkey between the hours of 12 and 4 o'clock! Hot wind...I sweat as I sit trying not to move or even think somedays. Hot sun!

I look out my window...brown dry weeds except next to the houses which have gorgeous pops of pink puffy bougainvillea flowers and well tended greens. I wipe my brow.

Through my gauzy white curtains I see the piles of house rubble that blocks my view and wonder if the city will ever come take it? Didim has a big problem of illegal dumping especially from construction(another story though). Chug a glass of cold water...

I look at my dog. She is too hot to eat, too hot to bark, she just sleeps and pants heavily, noisily.

I look down at my belly. Wonder how my growing daughter inside is doing. If she will be like her mother(crazy in the heat) or her father(who much prefers hot over cold). I wipe the sweat. Taste the salt.

I look past the dry brown dirt, the dead weeds, the one abandoned house and then I see it...the beautiful blue Aegean sea. REFRESHES ME! We are so fortunate to be next to the sea.

As my belly grows my body feels so heavy. My fingers swell. I had to take my wedding ring off. My feet pound with presser.

I remember the blue beautiful water from my window and rush to get my suit on!

I slowly waddle down to the beach, my pregnant duck walk as my husband calls it. Throw my stuff down and run to the water!

Immediately the cold water calms me, relieves my heat induced surliness, my feet throb and cramp until they get used to the water. I dive in fully...

Ahhhh...cold. I feel light for now, I feel free, my movements open. My hips can bend. I can actually be on my back(which you can't do when u are pregnant only sleep on your sides).

I taste the salty sea, it cleanses me.

I float on my back, light and relaxed. I twirl my arms back stroking, loosening up my joints and muscles. I take deep breaths like what I have learned from practicing yoga. I think of my mom whenever I back stroke...she always loves this at the cabin, on the lake.

My mind opens as my body does. I am free, I am light, I am blessed. I think about our fathers, my husbands and mine, the cancer. The change. I hold my breath and plunge back down into the sea.

Grasp for air. Look up at the blue sky that reflects down on the clear water making it appear blue- MAVI in Turkish. Some days dark blue, others light, Turquoise, green or Grey...so beautiful. I know our baby loves the swimming.

I think about the Pacific Ocean off the California coast. How different that water is than this; colder, darker, more wild. How different my life was there.

As I float I am still, I close my eyes and listen, listen to my own breath under water, I wonder if this is what my breath sounds like to my baby. I wonder if that is why I get nostalgic from listening to my mother breath. I listen to the waves, the birds, the muffled sounds underwater. I think of whales and dolphins.

I float...I thinking of fun cabin times on old Tractor tires. Family

I open my eyes and see my hands wading, my belly, my feet and then the bottom of the sea. The water is so clear. I think of my father when we were little. When I would put my foot in his hands and he would throw me high in the sky and I would plunge back down into the lake water, loving every second!

The sun is starting to set. The air is cooling. My husband swims out to me.

I love the sea.

“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea” -Isak Dinesen-

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Halalar geldi...Aunties came...













My father-in-law is the oldest of five sisters. They all grew up in Adıyaman in the East of Turkey. My father-in-law left for the "big city", İstanbul when he was 18 never to return to live but his sisters stayed raising their families there. Four of the five sisters just took an 24 hour bus ride across Turkey to visit their ailing "Abi"(term for an older brother). In Turkish paternal aunt is hala where maternal aunt is teyze. As my husband says, "They are 100% east Turkey" meaning the East is much more conservative dress, most woman cover their heads regardless of how devote they practice. They have a little different accent too. I hope to see this other side of Turkey in the future!

They have been making delicious dishes from the Adıyaman region such as içli köfte(translates something like inside meatballs) in the photos. The aunties often times sit spread out on the floor on a blanket used for cooking and prepare it there in big circular tins. Lots of Bulgar wheat is used just as in another one of my favorite Adıyaman dishes çiğ köfte!


















Prior to these photos they had prepared a mixture of beef, onions and yummy spices to be the filling in these "pockets". The outer shell mixture felt a little like working with clay. The sisters worked as a team taking turns kneading together fine ground Bulgar wheat, ground beef, red pepper flakes, oil and other spices adding water here and there for the right consistency. Then when they felt satisfied two started the "pockets" then the other two filled them with the pre-made beef and onion mixture and sealed them closed to be the shape on the left of the upper photo...what shape would you call that? Anyone?













They got me in there trying to form these little things. I guess it is tradition that a kaynana(mother-in-law) would start the pocket then the gelin(bride or son's wife) would fill and close it. Close the köfte, close the mouth...hehe kinda funny.

When the içli köfte are assembled they are fried in vegetable oil. How can they not be delicious!!! They definitely were! We ate them while drinking ayran a very popular drink, basically watered down yogurt. It took me a while to like it but now I think it's great.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Hot! Hot! and did I mention...














...it is Hot and i am 7 months pregnant! I have been a bad little blogger with so much time between my last posts but I am ready to begin again. Back in Turkey after a wonderful trip to Minnesota, soaked up lots of family time and managed a quick trip to the old stomping ground, San Diego to see my Girls. Back in Turkey we moved into our new house! Yeah our own house, our own space, my own kitchen, our own closet to hang up my clothes and kissed my suitcases goodbye for a while. It's been a few years since I can honestly say "my house" or should I say "our house" with my hubby and our baby girl on the way! As my friend pointed out I am happily nesting.

We got our internet hooked up after weeks of "tomorrow" something like how it was always "ten days later" before our house was going to be ready but are now happily in it 2 months later. I think the equation is
A(amount of time said) x 6 + persistence + patience = you will receive your desired z

And of course "Burası Türkiye"

The internet was supposed to come "tomorrow" for about two weeks with my husband trying very hard, calling daily because he knew his very large, very pregnant and easily irritated hot wife(yes that's me) really wanted the internet connection to connect to her peeps across the ocean. Also for blogging and writing of course.

My third column, A Journey Within came out through Voices Newspaper. This one is about my attempts to make Turkey feel like "home."

One thing about living abroad, anywhere except the USA(and randomly Liberia and Burma) is that countries use the metric system of measurements and Celsius temperature measurement. It is almost easier that it doesn't immediately register for me that 37 degrees Celsius means 99 degrees Fahrenheit. It doesn't sting quite as hard or should I say sweat quite as much? But now I know...everyday for about 2 months it is almost 100 + degrees Fahrenheit. Great.

My husband and I have a debate...is it worse to be really hot? or really cold? Me coming from the really cold, Minnesota can get to below zero F Temperatures thinks it is worse to be really hot but imagine my Turk who has lived every summer in this constant heat and never experienced a Minnesota winter thinks it is worse to be really cold...Funny just what you are used to...

In Turkey also there is this fear of the cold as I have briefly written before. The all around mentality is the dreaded cold is what makes you sick. So you can only drink cold water and eat ice cream when the temperature have reached ridiculously hot. Where I am coming from a culture where there is ice in every drink year round. My husband got me a fan and installed A/C (Klima) in our room for me but he doesn't like it. So I sleep on the side of the bed with the fan blasting and no blanket and he sleeps on the fanless side with a blanket on. Also we had the A/C on last night and he would turn it off in the night then I would turn it back on. I know that A/C isn't the best for you all the time but sometimes is so necessary. Also my very dear mother-in-law is calling us telling us to not sleep with the fan on because we will get sick. I have slept with the fan on every summer of my whole life and not been sick from it.

I am a little worried when my baby comes in-laws are going to make me bundle her up to the point of me being hot just looking at her and sometimes I wonder how these little babushka babies can even breath they are under so many layers. On the Turkish airlines flight back from USA to Turkey the plane was soooo hot and my Turkish seat neighbor and I asked if we could turn down the heat but I was informed, NO because there were three babies in the front row. OMG! I can understand not going outside with a wet head and keeping babies warm of course but it is just a whole other level here. Also sweating is seen as bad because as you cool off you are wet and then get sick from the cold again. My nephew is not allowed to sweat...he is changed immediately! I think sweating is good. It cleans your body and means your heart rate went up. Keeps your insides heated up.

Anyone relate?

Anyways all this talk of hot and cold reminds me how blessed we are to be in walking distance to the Aegean Sea. It really is gorgeous. The deep varied hues of blue, so clear and refreshing. We usually don't go swimming until after 3 or later because the sun rays are so powerful. The beach is the busiest from this time until sunset.

Swimming has been so amazing on my pregnant body. My feet get swollen and pulse from the heat and my weight and then I go swimming for an hour and feel weightless. I can float on my back which is nice because I can't lay on my back anymore for pressure on the baby. I think I am going to go swimming now...