I met some friends through Caglar. They are a kind, very warm couple. They have been together for years and they live together. He always speaks turkish to me even though don't really understand but I appreciate it. He tries to include me. She speaks a little english so we speak a broken mix of engish, turkish and sign/body language. I really want to keep practicing my turkish because you can only get to know so much about people with out language or a translator.
My point of the above title of double lives is that so many women and girls here in Turkey seem to live in two worlds: One thier free university life and then the other the ones thier father/husband/family expects them to live. My above friends as I said are so nice. I was so surprised to find out though that my girl friend's father thinks she lives in a girl's only dorm funded by this turkish religious leader with strict curfews and rules. My girl friend also loves swimming. I was even more surprised to find out that her boyfriend forbides her from going to the public university swimming pool because she would be in a swimsuit and he would not be there to 'protect' her. And she listens, she doesn't go. She was enjoying when my boyfriend and I were saying he was crazy but this seems to be a common mentality in Turkey. I have heard many other examples of this control masked as protection. My friend's seem happy and I shouldn't judge what works for them but it is different than what I am used to.
3 comments:
Emily! this pisses me off! I liked/loved you last line of "control masked as protection..." so true. It is unjust and bull shit. You need to check out Eco feminisist theory. I it amazing, seriously, check it out.
Emily it may be 'control masked as protection'.
But I see it as 'Jealousy masked as protection'. Jealous that other men may look at his girlfriend?
Perhaps?
Yes ardent there is alot of jealousy-kiskanç! I think the jealousy turns into control and it is a vicious cycle.
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