Sweat, Tears and the Sea

I feel as if there is a giant blow dryer on high pointed at Turkey between the hours of 12 and 4 o'clock! Hot wind...I sweat as I sit trying not to move or even think somedays. Hot sun!

I look out my window...brown dry weeds except next to the houses which have gorgeous pops of pink puffy bougainvillea flowers and well tended greens. I wipe my brow.

Through my gauzy white curtains I see the piles of house rubble that blocks my view and wonder if the city will ever come take it? Didim has a big problem of illegal dumping especially from construction(another story though). Chug a glass of cold water...

I look at my dog. She is too hot to eat, too hot to bark, she just sleeps and pants heavily, noisily.

I look down at my belly. Wonder how my growing daughter inside is doing. If she will be like her mother(crazy in the heat) or her father(who much prefers hot over cold). I wipe the sweat. Taste the salt.

I look past the dry brown dirt, the dead weeds, the one abandoned house and then I see it...the beautiful blue Aegean sea. REFRESHES ME! We are so fortunate to be next to the sea.

As my belly grows my body feels so heavy. My fingers swell. I had to take my wedding ring off. My feet pound with presser.

I remember the blue beautiful water from my window and rush to get my suit on!

I slowly waddle down to the beach, my pregnant duck walk as my husband calls it. Throw my stuff down and run to the water!

Immediately the cold water calms me, relieves my heat induced surliness, my feet throb and cramp until they get used to the water. I dive in fully...

Ahhhh...cold. I feel light for now, I feel free, my movements open. My hips can bend. I can actually be on my back(which you can't do when u are pregnant only sleep on your sides).

I taste the salty sea, it cleanses me.

I float on my back, light and relaxed. I twirl my arms back stroking, loosening up my joints and muscles. I take deep breaths like what I have learned from practicing yoga. I think of my mom whenever I back stroke...she always loves this at the cabin, on the lake.

My mind opens as my body does. I am free, I am light, I am blessed. I think about our fathers, my husbands and mine, the cancer. The change. I hold my breath and plunge back down into the sea.

Grasp for air. Look up at the blue sky that reflects down on the clear water making it appear blue- MAVI in Turkish. Some days dark blue, others light, Turquoise, green or Grey...so beautiful. I know our baby loves the swimming.

I think about the Pacific Ocean off the California coast. How different that water is than this; colder, darker, more wild. How different my life was there.

As I float I am still, I close my eyes and listen, listen to my own breath under water, I wonder if this is what my breath sounds like to my baby. I wonder if that is why I get nostalgic from listening to my mother breath. I listen to the waves, the birds, the muffled sounds underwater. I think of whales and dolphins.

I float...I thinking of fun cabin times on old Tractor tires. Family

I open my eyes and see my hands wading, my belly, my feet and then the bottom of the sea. The water is so clear. I think of my father when we were little. When I would put my foot in his hands and he would throw me high in the sky and I would plunge back down into the lake water, loving every second!

The sun is starting to set. The air is cooling. My husband swims out to me.

I love the sea.

“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea” -Isak Dinesen-