Learning from both sides of the family...

That little blur is baby girl rolling her wrist around pırasa, Turkish for leek. Babaanne(grandma on the father's side) gave it to her for cutting teeth and it really is perfect. It is soft, yet tough to not split open or break off. A natural solution instead of plastic. Also such a great size and shape for that cute little chubby hand to wrap around. Of course there is the slight smell but no one minds...she still gets plenty of kisses.

We made it back down to Didim. To be next to Babaanne(grandma on the father's side, Annaanne on mother's), Hala(Auntie -again a distinction between which side of the family, Teyze on mother's) and Abi for cousin(what all Turks call a man who is older then them unless way older then its Amca-uncle). Oh yeah and don't forget the Manyak Tequila...

So good to see them all. Be together. Think about Dede(grandpa) Have baby girls new little life make them all smile too.

Good to walk next to the beautiful blue water, Aegean Sea where baby girl takes her name from. Where she was born just 7 months ago. Whirlwind!

We went into town recently. Stopped by the butcher shop to get a bone for Tequila. I had baby girl in the sling, sitting kangaroo style so she could face out and observe the world. We were looking in the mirror together making faces while waiting for Babaanne(B) when suddenly the butcher starts frantically explaining something or other...?

My Turkish is getting ok but couldn't quite get it- kendine(self) -dikkat (be careful)-something? B just didn't her cute little smile, listened to his rant, asked him where he was from and thanked him for the bone and we were on our way again.

Once outside I asked what the heck was he saying? (We have our own way of talking- I can always understand her:) She explained that First he was from Erzurum-east Turkey(east and west Turkey are quite different). That his mother said to NEVER have a baby look in the mirror as the baby will become confused and not understand itself. I am sure he said more that was lost in translation but this concept we both found ridiculous...where do these ideas come from? Passed down to generations...that said...

She told me that I need to do what I think is right for our daughter. Don't listen to everyone else and that written...

I do try to do what is best for her but also a balance for the family as a whole to feel good too as Turks are a superstitious bunch...

Baby girl goes out of the house always with a Turkish eye, nazar boncuk pinned to her, we can't say she is beautiful only ugly because of a Nazar. She can't be caught in a cross breeze(only one window open in the house/car at a time). Can't be cold or sweat...

My point of the above story is there are some things that are found ridiculous from one culture(even city) but might be important for another. I do do what I feel is best for my baby girl but also what makes her other side of the family feel better too even if to me some of the things are as silly as not letting the baby look in the mirror...

I know it is all nurturing and out of love...and I have the "erzurum mirror" to bring up if I find anything really hard to handle:)

Currently I am just enjoying having some help with our little monkey. It has started to really get fun- her rolling and sitting and eating and talking!

I am looking forward to some possible alone time? Personal creative time...please:)

At the same time I write of some funny things from this side of our family I have learned some great things too!

Pırasa as a natural teether...

A great swing- sit down stick your legs out, put a pillow across your feet- place baby girl laid across your legs and start a rocking!














Also baby girl was a bit fussy so B quickly whipped out her hammock and rigged it all up for baby girl with a "grandma approved safety strap"(my pink scarf)

At the end here I will add a Maşallah, plaa, plaa, plaa(signifies a sort of spitting/blowing noise you make to get rid of those jealous eyes towards baby dear)- I do love some superstition:)

Have you learned anything great from your parents or in-laws? Anything you need to kindly say "we are not doing that, thank you?"

(uhhhggg...I have been working on this post for far too long. Still trying to find balance with a few minutes of free time even with the in-laws around baby girl still really likes her momma but she is relaxing...I am sure I will miss it one day)

P.S. So very dependent on my computer and it is soooo slow- frustrating!

Are you a hot or cold person?

And I don't mean this temperature wise...I mean open, warm and friendly or closed, hard to get to know. One Turkish student I just met said he was in USA last summer, New York, Seattle and Alaska. He said that our country was beautiful but that the people were cold. This made me a little disappointed in the American public and a bit defensive i think because I also appreciate warm people and love my country. Of course things like this always depend on who you meet on your travels but... Turkish people always talk about if people are warm or cold. The general consensus, around Europe at least, seems to be countries that border the Mediterranean sea are warm, Spain, Italy, Turkey etc while the Scandinavian countries have a colder, less open approach to culture. Turkish people are also extremely hospitable and have more of a collective approach to life. The general response to me being an American is curiosity and as long as I don't like George Dubya Bush I am alright. Turkish people always have time to sit and drink tea together maybe while Americans are busy taking their coffee to go. Americans are all about independence and teaching you to do it your own sweet self. Which can leave people in their work dust and appear cold if they are not used to it. I miss American efficiency and creativity. Also I think America is such a melting pot of cultures that people get over looked. Foreigners aren't so different, by just being different so they aren't overly recognized or welcomed where as in Turkey I feel like you really stick out as a foreigner. Either way some where in the middle of the "give me it to go" efficiency and the sit and drink a million glasses of tea don't forget to be nice to strangers and chat it up a bit. Smile and be nice to your neighbors and visitors...

When they said Jesus could walk on water I think he was just at this salt lake. This is Salt Lake next to Cappadoccia towards the center of Turkey. We went here when I first came Turkey on a bus crammed with other exchange students, both hot and cold.

Double life...

I met some friends through Caglar. They are a kind, very warm couple. They have been together for years and they live together. He always speaks turkish to me even though don't really understand but I appreciate it. He tries to include me. She speaks a little english so we speak a broken mix of engish, turkish and sign/body language. I really want to keep practicing my turkish because you can only get to know so much about people with out language or a translator.

My point of the above title of double lives is that so many women and girls here in Turkey seem to live in two worlds: One thier free university life and then the other the ones thier father/husband/family expects them to live. My above friends as I said are so nice. I was so surprised to find out though that my girl friend's father thinks she lives in a girl's only dorm funded by this turkish religious leader with strict curfews and rules. My girl friend also loves swimming. I was even more surprised to find out that her boyfriend forbides her from going to the public university swimming pool because she would be in a swimsuit and he would not be there to 'protect' her. And she listens, she doesn't go. She was enjoying when my boyfriend and I were saying he was crazy but this seems to be a common mentality in Turkey. I have heard many other examples of this control masked as protection. My friend's seem happy and I shouldn't judge what works for them but it is different than what I am used to.

kindness of strangers...

Today started out as a typical day in the life of Istanbul Emily. Woke up , made some filtered yummy coffee from America, rode the bus to Mimar Sinan University, did some silk screening, rode the Tram way Funiknler to Taxsim for my language school and tried to absorb as much Turce dil as possible. After class I was quite hungry. There are tons of tiny fruit and veggie stands around Turkey. I wanted some bananas before I went to yoga. I grab three bananas from one of these little fruit stands and then realize that I am out of cash. I only need 2 YTL (Yeni Turkish lira) but yok/ none. I say pardon...para yok (my broken way of saying never mind). Basically I start to go and he basically in Turkish tells me no problem...sonra sonra/ later later. So basically this man tells me I can pay him later, smiles and goes back to reading his newspaper. I was so shocked and touched by his willingness to trust that I will come back and pay him later. Especially in the big city of Istanbul. It made me smile today.

Living here I take the bus, tram, ferry etc. etc. public transportation. Some days it sucks, I'll be honest. Crowded, so much traffic and you never really know how long it will take 15 minutes or one hour? blah. But It does force you to interact with other human beings. One other kindness of strangers situation I love watching(or being part of) is giving the seats to old people or others that need it more.

Simply, I just feel good about the world when I see honor and trust in or for others.

meat.

Meat in America is cut, cleaned and packaged(like many things). This builds such a disconnection that it once was a living breathing animal with a white breast or choice cut steak let alone other organs. Here in Turkey the butcher shops have the carcasses hanging in the refrigerated windows for all to see and come pick what you would like cut from this body. You go to the butcher shop the man opens the door and cuts you off what part you asked for. OK this may seem gross to some but think about how fresh it is. No plastic for it to sit around and leech from. Also some of the butcher stores specialize in the organs. Ciger is I believe liver and the cigerci store has all the "disgusting" parts of the cows and sheep displayed(reminder this is a Muslim country so forget the pork) and ready to sell, the hearts, brains, testicles, feet, tongues, intestines all that good stuff ready to go. I am trying to get in to it??? But not very hard. Makes me think of my grandpa and his pig's feet and Grammy loving cow's tongues. My boyfriend's mother had to quick fry him up some sheep's testicles before we left their house the last time we visited.If you can get past that it is a dead animal visually I think it is quite beautiful. They clean the parts so well. The repetition of multiple organs...hearts...etc.

HONK-HONK.....hoooooooonnnnnkkkkk!

HONK-HONK-"hey look at me while you are peacefully walking down the street(side note actually you really need to fully stay awake and be aware of your surrounding when walking in Istanbul. I don't always feel secure even on the sidewalk.) HONK-HONK-I'm a taxi driver in Istanbul."

HONK-HONK-"hey look at me, I think that if I sneak up behind you and honk at you that you will want to magically jump in my taxi so I can try to ripe you off even though you had no intention of taking a taxi."

HONK-HONK-"hey look at me, Jump in my taxi, forget that I just scared you and made you jump 5 ft.(meters in this case) in the air and had no intention of taking a taxi or else you would be actively pursuing me."

HONK-HONK-"Hey look at me, You should jump in my taxi, just wanted you to know that I am here so you can get in but if not get the f-out of my way because I am not slowing down-actually I am going to speed up because there is no such thing as pedestrian right of way in turkey."

HONK-HONK-"move it or loose it sister(abla in Turkish) or get in so I can see that you are a yobanci(foreigner) and try to rip you off by not starting my meter or by charging you night rates during daytime hours or keep the meter going since before my last victim got out."

HONK-HONK-Hooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkk! just a quick HONK-HONK- "just to make sure you saw me and hey, do you want a ride?"

This is one of the pages from my Turkey Book. Last year I made a accordion style collage book about things I experienced and cultural differences in this then foreign to me land. The Turks are normally kind, considerate and extremely hospitable people...then they get into their cars. Madness!

My Cali friend and I used to always hold hands and mentally prepare ourselves for the crossing of the street and that was even in our little Eskisehir city. Also the truck hauling is hilarious(see my picture)! They are so overly stuffed full of whatever and sway slightly as they putt down the road.

Also the cars make up lanes. "Oh look there is a tiny little spot that I can squeeze through so I can make a third lane and get up front-great!" Pedestrian right of way seems to be unheard of. Seat belts are barely worn.

On a less comic note, sadly, there have been many deaths from this culturally accepted do or die way of driving.

My boyfriend came to the States, "wow. It's so calm to drive here." He is a good driver though.

Ok off to school and no I will not be taking a taxi.

Still can't get used to it...

Turkish Toilet














My painting praising toilet paper...














Close up of the beloved paper...

So I have been here for almost six months and it just doesn't get easier for me. Someone tried to tell me Turkish toilets are more sanitary...I guess because not everyone sits on the same seat. How about seat covers? Also when you are peeing it splashes up onto your feet...gross!! Another thing that I am still not used to is having to carry toilet paper around in my purse because a MAJORITY of places do not offer it. I guess I am spoiled by the public toilets in America. There is usually never any soap either, but they do have lemon flavored alcohol cologne that everyone is always squirting all over their hands before or after they eat. Turks also seem to love the smell...blah lemon flavored rubbing alcohol. I do like how normally you get these hand wipes after eating (even though they are normally lemon flavored alcohol ones). It seems a little better you are actually wiping germs off instead of just rubbing them around on your hand. I have learned to horde these little wippy treasures in my purse for situations like above when I am faced without toilet paper or soap. The painting above just makes me laugh. I really do praise the little packets of Kleenex they sell around here. Also at restaurants my friends and I are always sticking napkins in our purses just in case. And to clean the toilets they just hose them down with water...OK easy but..then there are gross muddy foot prints everywhere???????And people don't flush them so some omit horrid odors!!! Ohhh Sweet Turkey I really do love you though...

Sweeter than sugar...

These children are much sweeter than sugar cubes. Since being in Turkey I have been completely enamoured with the Turkish children who run around in their little blue school uniforms. Each child has a different hand embroidered white collar. At our University there is a hot lunch program they offer for one lira per day(about 75 cents). Surprisingly it isn't too bad and obviously you can't beat the price. They also bus in elementary school children to feed. The kids are always zipping and zooming around us during lunch. On this day Spring was in the air and oranges(portokal) were on the lunch menu. All these kids were outside in the sun eating these huge, sweet, juicy oranges in their blue complimentary color uniforms. I thought they were so beautiful and asked if I could take a photo of a few of them. At first there was three, then seven, ten and all of a sudden my photo was swarming with twenty-five orange and sun kissed children. I felt kinda bad cropping the photo because each was posing in their own cute way.