Home sweet Turkey?

Home sweet home!

Home sweet where?

Whenever I go back to the States I have several conversation of this nature...

"You live where?"

"Turkey?"

"Wow, that is far..."

"Wow, how is that?"

(Note:this response varies with different voice fluctuations insinuating

A: positive one like 'oh cool you live in another country'

B: a negative like 'where the heck is that and why would you ever flipping go there?'

C: a scared one like 'aren't they different over there')

Also my response lately is simply, "good just far...with a little sigh at the end...that I try to hide."

Every time I go back to the States it still does feel like home to go back to my childhood house. I feel on one hand fortunate to have had such stability through my life and another like hey maybe there is something wrong with this and maybe that is why I just can't feel happy in this country of Turkey lately? HOME SWEET TURKEY???

But I felt like I had a home outside of my childhood one when I lived in San Diego. I loved our little dove street nest although knowing it wasn't forever we nurtured it; we cooked for each other and people would come in and out eating my food, drinking wine and laughing, lots of laughing and fabulous conversations that friends have with one and other(I miss you people:).

But by the time I had left that house I was ready to;over so.cal. Ready to go forth with all the love and growing I had done during those fabulously fun twenties in southern California to go "see the world".

That will be 4 yrs ago in February...wow!

I came to Eskisehir and have been bouncing from house to city to house to country to house to city to country to house to state to house to house to city to country to language to culture to customs to house to home? where is the HOME though? etc etc ever since (yeah makes you a little dizzy huh? me too!)

We might be moving again or maybe not and this news makes me tired and sad. Just continues this unsettled feeling.

Always in the back of my head though that when I settle down it will be in MN.

I believe most of this urgency stems from having a child and loosing my father, two biggest events in my life within 9 days of each other.

Lately have been blinded by my longing to be in MN...

must sleep now...

"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Patient and persistent like the my father's National Geographics

Coin collections, tin cups, and hand written!

Previously I wrote of the beauty of technology; the webcam call, the email, the blog, the whole internet community(yet to twitter?)...it has been glorious to me...helping me connect with most important my family but also other expats, moms and people whose paths run parallel or intersect mine. Those who have overcome their culture shock and moved forward with what this foreign life has to offer...I appreciate this...all through my computer...this portal but...there is a real life out there...people to connect with. Things to touch and feel.

Baby girl woke up at about 6 AM uninterested in going back to bed. We woke up, johnny jump-uped(yeah new verb), and I mashed up some bananas and rice cereal for her while I made my yogurt and granola. It was cloudy outside, my throat hurt and she was fussy...so we went back to bed...for like three glorious hours cuddling with baba(daddy).

Re-awoke to rain turned hail. I loved it, it fit my mood, please continue all... day... long...

It didn't. The sun came out but baby girl was still antsy. Slipped on my sweet new rain boots plopped her in the sling and out the door we went.

We live 15 minute drive outside of the city of Eskişehir so we walked to "town" sort of, consisting of a market, a cheese shop and a yarn store. We chatted with the cheese man and he showed me the cheeses from the local villages and told me that fresh milk comes everyday at 9:30AM. Gave me his card and complimented me on knowing Turkish. It's funny here when you know some Turkish people are so impressed where as in the States people are generally annoyed and unforgiving if you don't know English.

I headed to the yarn store and saw they were selling Oya- Turkish Lace that I adore. Whoops forgot money but know now that it is close by! It has so much potential for uses other then just the trim on village women's headscarves. (Got my new sewing machine...so exciting!!! Now need fabric and time!-getting there...)

Rained on us a little, don't worry baby girl didn't melt but we rushed home. There was mail at the door! Opened it to find the perfect little 1/4 measuring cup above, hand written card(mom's nostalgic cursive and support from littlest sis) and an article about feeling beautiful as a mother. The perfect baby cup we always use at my mom's and my grandma always used for all her babies. It is perfect size and shape for a little mouth learning to drink. I love the weight and feel of it- not plastic-blah! A funny little family heirloom this tin cup (who needs silver and gold:)

Actually I watched, Throw momma from the Train last night, The movie with Danny Devito(Owen) and Billy Crystal(Larry)- funny movie but there is one part I really liked when Owen shows Larry his coin collection. Larry is of course expecting exotic, rare coins worth millions but Owen shows him 2 Quarters, 2 Nickels and a Pennie. The worth of them is tied to the memories of his father, they are all change he got during their outings together. I love it! You can watch it here...

I am a little like Owen. I am tied to things but not expensive stuff (partially because we never had it?) but mainly because of the memories. I cherish them!

Now I wear around my dad's old shirts(great for nursing) and give my daughter sips from an old tin cup! Cherish all the card's my mom has sent me over the years to put a smile on my face written in her hand, her cursive.

So as fabulous as the computer is sometimes i just want to touch things, feel things, make things with my own two hands.

Girlfriends...

Two of my best girlfriends came to town this weekend. It was amazing and we didn't have to do anything.

Girlfriend sessions are so necessary. It is a counseling session filled with giggles. So good for the soul!

We thought of our San Diego lives when the world revolved around only us and just hanging out together. Now so much has changed; a world not just for us, marriage, birth, death, travels, moves, new houses.

We are in such different times in our lives but it comforts my soul to know we will always be friends no matter how many miles apart we are. That our next generation will have some wonderful aunties! Although I wish I could put you in my pocket and pull you out whenever I need you.

Thankyou for coming my darlings!

Also thank you to my mother's wonderful girlfriends/sisters that have helped her and us all so much through these tough times! You are such special ladies! I worry so much less about my mother's heart hurting when I think of you!

Handmade...

Yes, I have been writing. That is something creative at least...yes, I have the excuse of very hot and very pregnant but it has been over a year since I made something I really loved...completed something. Time to get in gear! Stop the excuses!

I decided I would post some old work to get the juices flowing until I create something new. I need to touch, to feel, to think, to create again! I graduated with an art degree for goodness sake!

The above is a tapestry I made while attending Mimar Sinan Universitesi in Istanbul. It from a photograph of my husband's and my feet on a ferry trip coming back from the Princess Islands in Istanbul. Great day; love, bicycles, ferries...

I have been quite inspired by two creative blogging sisters, one at The light garden and the other at eighty days design who both sell their work along with tons of other talented artists creating beautiful handmade items at Etsy:Your place to buy and sell all things handmade!

I do miss all my materials back in MN! My good godmother is storing them in her basement awaiting our return; my sewing machine, big tackle box of beads, book making materials, nice paper, pencils, pastels, a whole college career's work etc. etc.

As Verity at thelightgarden was musing it far more difficult to find materials in Turkey but especially in Didim! But people make things with all sorts of materials though so another part of the creative process! Recently I've been reading about several women in many countries, Turkey included creating and selling hand bags out of plastic garbage.

My sweet husband did find me an easel, few canvases and acrylics. He brought it home stuffed in the little Volkswagen to surprise me, wooden legs sticking out the windows! He is very supportive. He calls me, "my Art" and I just don't ever want to correct him to- my artist:)


















Here is my new favorite piece of handmade! Our quilted elephant bedspread that I found at the pazaar! The pazaar is packed with amazing fruits and vegetables but unfortunately the rest is mainly cheap plastic crap and fake "Prada" and "Adidas"...But I spyed this beauty and look forward to adding more to our room along the theme! Turkey has a rich history of handmade.

A painter is coming on Monday to repaint the ceilings; the cement houses hold moisture and has caused the paint to flake all over the floor daily, although we painted a few months ago???? Not good for our beautiful (almost here) baby or us but after that I can finally officially set up my tiny studio!!!!!!

Write about creative...be creative!

The Office

I am so happy that channel 2- Comedy max on digiturk started playing my favorite show, The Office! They play two episodes back to back! My husband likes to watch it with me but not for the actual show which I don't think the sarcasm or subtleties translate over into Turkish but to hear my loud laugh...so funny!!!!! The little things I miss...but this no more!

Ohhh sweet pork...

Things I have missed from America???(besides the obvious and even more important family and friends)

-Pork- ohhh sweet pork, bacon, ham, sausage how ever you prepare it, it is tasty stuff! My husband can't get enough bacon or pork ribs with BBQ sauce every time he comes to visit the States.Turkey is predominantly Muslim country. Muslims and Jews think pork is dirty. Here is a description from Wikipedia, a "walking" animal is kosher only if it both chews its cud and has cloven hooves. However, the pig is the only animal to have cloven hooves but doesn't chew its cud: its external aspect makes it appear kosher, while it is not, making it a symbol of hypocrisy. I must say it is delicious though!

-Wine- good and inexpensive wine and lots of people who want to share it!

-Clothing dryers- they make for non-crunchy clothes, crunchy jeans and crunchy towels are the worst! It is not so bad if you live where there is lots of sunshine and ocean breeze(Didim vs. Eskişehir or Istanbul).

-The variety! Yes I love Turkish culture, people, food but I have missed being able to go to sushi one night and Thai the next mmmmmmm and don't forget Mexican. I love that America is such a melting pot of cultures that has brought with them their food!!! Istanbul and Izmir have everything of course but most of the other cities don't stray. They might have restaurants from different regions in Turkey but rarely other countries. I am not sure if it is because it is such a prideful country??? Or because many people don't travel because it is hard to take visas and don't realize other things are out there????Or they are just stuck in their ways???I think there are a good amount of Americans that are afraid of change but far more embrace differences I hope???Anyone have any thoughts???? Also I hate when Turks or people from other countries think that all Americans eat is fast food, blahhhh!!! I guess that is all we export and it is not making us look very good.

-Also the shopping has been pretty fabulous! Again...the variety! Things such as electronics, cars, converse shoes etc are soooo inexpensive in comparison. I guess because many things were invented by Americans or we have been the worlds consumers for so long but other countries are hungry for the goods now a days!

-City planning instead of just piling another house or apartment building on top of an ancient village. In Turkey there are tons of half completed building because people either ran out of money to finish the project or they started building without government approval and half way through the government made them stop. It is such a waste to see these beautiful beach side property covered in concrete shells.

-City wide recycling programs, Americans have really grown in awareness and most I know find it second nature to recycle but still have the rest of the world beat on the amounts we use and how overly packaged every single thing is. plastic

Making things with my mama...

We have had a wonderful holiday season but also a sick one in this Minnesota cold so my mother made her sick babies(big grown up babies) some chicken soup with homemade noodles. I love making things with my mother. She is so talented and passionate about everything she makes. I watched her mix the eggs, flour, salt with a little Turkish olive oil since Minnesota is so dry in the winter needs that extra moisture. After the ball of dough was kneaded she cut it into smaller balls and we sent it through the pasta machine. Every time we sent the dough through we made the setting smaller so the get nice thin sheets of pasta. Then another setting evenly slices the noodles. We did this with my Turkish husband via skype with web cam. He chatted with us and watched us do the slicing. Thank you technology for this amazing invention. It is making this big world so much smaller.


















You can save this fresh pasta by line drying it. It hardens and preserves just like the kind you would buy in the store. Again I think my generation is so disconnected where food comes from or how it is made. Also time is always a factor but pasta making is easy and so fun with the ones you love! Hope all are having a happy new year!!! 2009 wow!

I am ready...

..to finally finish school! This is a piece I did last fall. I better make it quick and get back to homework. I won't miss finishing projects that I don't want to be doing. I will miss the set aside time and reason for working. I will miss the GOOD teachers mentorship and meeting others with the urge to create. Note to self!

Hanging out the laundry...

I haven't been posting this month because many wonderful things have been happening. I went back to Cali for a dear friends beautiful wedding. Then my amazing parents traveled many miles from Minnesota. We went around Istanbul, to the cave cities of Cappadocia and then went to meet my beautiful boyfriend's adorable parents in Didim. A few minor bad things are my photo shop trial membership ran out so I can't edit photos and the wiring at my Istanbul apartment is so bad that I am having major problems connecting the Internet. My beautiful computer is feeling very underutilized! Anyways everything went even better than expected with our parents and everyone should be expecting big news soon. One thing my parents and I discussed is why are there no dryers in Turkey? Is it because they are expensive? They suck up energy? They have most other appliances? Also their laundry washing cycles are about 2 or 3 hours long...huh? They just hang the clothes outside to dry or one big rack in their houses. I need photoshop again because I have many new photos to share. xoxo

Big eggs and ham...things I miss...

Beautiful fruit variety...


















Avocados...yes please!


















Prosciutto hanging everywhere...


















Little piggies in Spain...


















Actually, no I don't miss ostrich eggs because I have never had them...but thought this was a cool photo. I recently headed over to Barcelona and Madrid, Spain. These photos are from the open air market in the middle of Barcelona. You can find so much variety but for a pretty steep price. Since Turkey is a predominately Muslim country there isn't much demand for pork so it was a good treat. Also here in Turkey they have great beautiful fresh veggies but nothing tropical, no avocados, no limes, etc. I will be going back to America soon...to all it's choices????? Huh????

Now it's time to say goodbye...

Where did the time go? There we all are,(Kloe and other exchange students) dancing at one of our favorite clubs. I feel like I just came to Turkey. Everything new, meeting all the other yobanci orenci(foreigner students) for the first time and now I am saying good bye. Exchanging emails and wondering who you will really keep in touch with. All my friends from U.S. are writing me "see you soon". I am in love with a Turk...what do I do about that? Wow life flies by! I guess just live in the now and enjoy as much as you can! I will always have a special place in my heart for Turkey and I know this isn't the end. I am excited though to see friends and family(of course). I miss food variety, sushi, blue water seafood, my mama's cooking, big fat Mexican burrito!!!!!! In my Turkish city variety is lacking for sure! I also miss Yoga and people to run with! Paths to run on and not getting stared at like a freak when you run by! OK that is it for now...I still have a month and a half.