Learning from both sides of the family...

That little blur is baby girl rolling her wrist around pırasa, Turkish for leek. Babaanne(grandma on the father's side) gave it to her for cutting teeth and it really is perfect. It is soft, yet tough to not split open or break off. A natural solution instead of plastic. Also such a great size and shape for that cute little chubby hand to wrap around. Of course there is the slight smell but no one minds...she still gets plenty of kisses.

We made it back down to Didim. To be next to Babaanne(grandma on the father's side, Annaanne on mother's), Hala(Auntie -again a distinction between which side of the family, Teyze on mother's) and Abi for cousin(what all Turks call a man who is older then them unless way older then its Amca-uncle). Oh yeah and don't forget the Manyak Tequila...

So good to see them all. Be together. Think about Dede(grandpa) Have baby girls new little life make them all smile too.

Good to walk next to the beautiful blue water, Aegean Sea where baby girl takes her name from. Where she was born just 7 months ago. Whirlwind!

We went into town recently. Stopped by the butcher shop to get a bone for Tequila. I had baby girl in the sling, sitting kangaroo style so she could face out and observe the world. We were looking in the mirror together making faces while waiting for Babaanne(B) when suddenly the butcher starts frantically explaining something or other...?

My Turkish is getting ok but couldn't quite get it- kendine(self) -dikkat (be careful)-something? B just didn't her cute little smile, listened to his rant, asked him where he was from and thanked him for the bone and we were on our way again.

Once outside I asked what the heck was he saying? (We have our own way of talking- I can always understand her:) She explained that First he was from Erzurum-east Turkey(east and west Turkey are quite different). That his mother said to NEVER have a baby look in the mirror as the baby will become confused and not understand itself. I am sure he said more that was lost in translation but this concept we both found ridiculous...where do these ideas come from? Passed down to generations...that said...

She told me that I need to do what I think is right for our daughter. Don't listen to everyone else and that written...

I do try to do what is best for her but also a balance for the family as a whole to feel good too as Turks are a superstitious bunch...

Baby girl goes out of the house always with a Turkish eye, nazar boncuk pinned to her, we can't say she is beautiful only ugly because of a Nazar. She can't be caught in a cross breeze(only one window open in the house/car at a time). Can't be cold or sweat...

My point of the above story is there are some things that are found ridiculous from one culture(even city) but might be important for another. I do do what I feel is best for my baby girl but also what makes her other side of the family feel better too even if to me some of the things are as silly as not letting the baby look in the mirror...

I know it is all nurturing and out of love...and I have the "erzurum mirror" to bring up if I find anything really hard to handle:)

Currently I am just enjoying having some help with our little monkey. It has started to really get fun- her rolling and sitting and eating and talking!

I am looking forward to some possible alone time? Personal creative time...please:)

At the same time I write of some funny things from this side of our family I have learned some great things too!

Pırasa as a natural teether...

A great swing- sit down stick your legs out, put a pillow across your feet- place baby girl laid across your legs and start a rocking!














Also baby girl was a bit fussy so B quickly whipped out her hammock and rigged it all up for baby girl with a "grandma approved safety strap"(my pink scarf)

At the end here I will add a Maşallah, plaa, plaa, plaa(signifies a sort of spitting/blowing noise you make to get rid of those jealous eyes towards baby dear)- I do love some superstition:)

Have you learned anything great from your parents or in-laws? Anything you need to kindly say "we are not doing that, thank you?"

(uhhhggg...I have been working on this post for far too long. Still trying to find balance with a few minutes of free time even with the in-laws around baby girl still really likes her momma but she is relaxing...I am sure I will miss it one day)

P.S. So very dependent on my computer and it is soooo slow- frustrating!

Happy birthday Dad...

It was yesterday...

I wish it went like this...

Me calling my dad on skype. I can hear it play in my head, his voice, how his glasses would be all funny on his face around his neck with that silly string. He would probably be looking at some stats or news at the same time talking to us.

He would answer and say, "hi doll(maybe dolls plural now, what would he call our baby girl?)"

me:"Hi dad, Happy birthday!"

dad: "oh thanks sweetie."

me: "what are you guys going to do today?"

Then he would stop "computing", take off his glasses, lean back in the chair, stretch, then cross his arms turning his attention to us...

dad: " oh probably just go down to the Muni for a burger with everybody. Mom made me a chocolate cake. Kids are coming over later. Nothing too special. How are you guys? How is Mavisu?"

me: "We are good. Mavisu is growing so big and beautiful...here look..."
dad: "(here is new territory? I am not sure what exactly he would say because we never got to talk about his grandbaby, the cancer had already made him so weak when we came home from the hospital with her. I know though that he would love her. He loved her. It would make him smile a BIG smile. He would love her!")

We would go on to talk about projects each other are doing. I would get the down low on each sibling and mom as she would be working on a Wednesday. I would ask his opinion about something or other. He would have an opinion. He always did:)

The conversation would take a lull or two and we knew we were done for that session.

I would wish him Happy birthday again and tell him I love him. He would say thanks and say he loves us too.

I would email him a card with a picture of baby girl or have sent something he would get late...of course:)

This is what I wish happened yesterday...

But instead the sharp knife of reality sliced deep. He is gone never too return. It fucking sucks.

Now he lives on in beautiful memories. I hope I can always remember his funny mannerisms and know what he would do in certain situations.

Love you forever father dear...

The above photo is of a gorgeous oil painting of my father's portrait given as a huge, beautiful surprise to my mother. Truly it has a life of it's own and is the second thing to have my father reborn. It is there with my mother and it makes her smile which is the most important! The painting was done by the very kind and ridiculously talented painter, Jeffrey T. Larson.

Coin collections, tin cups, and hand written!

Previously I wrote of the beauty of technology; the webcam call, the email, the blog, the whole internet community(yet to twitter?)...it has been glorious to me...helping me connect with most important my family but also other expats, moms and people whose paths run parallel or intersect mine. Those who have overcome their culture shock and moved forward with what this foreign life has to offer...I appreciate this...all through my computer...this portal but...there is a real life out there...people to connect with. Things to touch and feel.

Baby girl woke up at about 6 AM uninterested in going back to bed. We woke up, johnny jump-uped(yeah new verb), and I mashed up some bananas and rice cereal for her while I made my yogurt and granola. It was cloudy outside, my throat hurt and she was fussy...so we went back to bed...for like three glorious hours cuddling with baba(daddy).

Re-awoke to rain turned hail. I loved it, it fit my mood, please continue all... day... long...

It didn't. The sun came out but baby girl was still antsy. Slipped on my sweet new rain boots plopped her in the sling and out the door we went.

We live 15 minute drive outside of the city of Eskişehir so we walked to "town" sort of, consisting of a market, a cheese shop and a yarn store. We chatted with the cheese man and he showed me the cheeses from the local villages and told me that fresh milk comes everyday at 9:30AM. Gave me his card and complimented me on knowing Turkish. It's funny here when you know some Turkish people are so impressed where as in the States people are generally annoyed and unforgiving if you don't know English.

I headed to the yarn store and saw they were selling Oya- Turkish Lace that I adore. Whoops forgot money but know now that it is close by! It has so much potential for uses other then just the trim on village women's headscarves. (Got my new sewing machine...so exciting!!! Now need fabric and time!-getting there...)

Rained on us a little, don't worry baby girl didn't melt but we rushed home. There was mail at the door! Opened it to find the perfect little 1/4 measuring cup above, hand written card(mom's nostalgic cursive and support from littlest sis) and an article about feeling beautiful as a mother. The perfect baby cup we always use at my mom's and my grandma always used for all her babies. It is perfect size and shape for a little mouth learning to drink. I love the weight and feel of it- not plastic-blah! A funny little family heirloom this tin cup (who needs silver and gold:)

Actually I watched, Throw momma from the Train last night, The movie with Danny Devito(Owen) and Billy Crystal(Larry)- funny movie but there is one part I really liked when Owen shows Larry his coin collection. Larry is of course expecting exotic, rare coins worth millions but Owen shows him 2 Quarters, 2 Nickels and a Pennie. The worth of them is tied to the memories of his father, they are all change he got during their outings together. I love it! You can watch it here...

I am a little like Owen. I am tied to things but not expensive stuff (partially because we never had it?) but mainly because of the memories. I cherish them!

Now I wear around my dad's old shirts(great for nursing) and give my daughter sips from an old tin cup! Cherish all the card's my mom has sent me over the years to put a smile on my face written in her hand, her cursive.

So as fabulous as the computer is sometimes i just want to touch things, feel things, make things with my own two hands.

Thank goodness for skype...

Ok, this is obvious that technology is amazing these days but it needs to be acknowledged.
I don't know if I could be living abroad with out it?

Just like these old phone booths actually...

I think of my grandma and when my grandpa went to World War Two for four years. Letters were it...

Now my daughter is growing up with skype and it is ever evolving...
Still waiting for the "beam me up scottie" though.

Grammy...

Grammy went to heaven today...

She is giving my dad and Ali kisses. Maybe they'll teach her tavla(backgammon)?

She was 90. It was time. She had been wanting to just "go home" for a long time. It was a blessing really. Grandpa wants to follow her close behind. He is her "best kisser" after all...

"one for me, one for you, and one for us" Every time 3 kisses.

They have been married for over 65 years...wow!

I feel fortunate to have so many beautiful memories of my grandparents, their green house with the door always open, bells ringing, the round kitchen table and always plenty of food. The big gardens outside, grammy's raspberry jam, mmm...summer tomatoes with basil, vinegar, and tons of garlic...

She was a great cook!

Grandma never complained, "I'm fine", was so humble, kind, and...

These times are when it is so hard to live abroad...

It was past time for grammy to go but wish I could be hearing the memories shared as everyone takes turn laughing and crying in her honor...listening to "Amazing Grace" in church...hugging the tons and tons of relatives that come with big families who all live close by each other...

It is so different when someone passes at the ripe old age of 90, more a blessing than anything as opposed to 57- then you just feel robbed of time-like it isn't quite fair.

Grandpa will follow soon I'm sure and it will be amazing when the little green house that nurtured 7 babies and tons of grand babies and great-grand babies with the 50 year old willow tree in front? Another constant - a root that will be severed that I am going to have to get used to...ohhh man...

Dear grandma, I love you so much...Goodnight...sweet dreams...

Love, Em

Avokado and school lunches...

I found some here and they are even grown in Turkey! I wonder where? Anyone know how to grow them? I want a tree for Didim! Will have to make some guacamole!

Does anyone know what wine is good here? Haven't found any I care for yet.

Makes me think of California. Avocados and good wine.

Always impressed by the TED website: Ideas worth spreading. These particular videos I have been watching are about food; particularly how out of touch many Americans are about where it comes from, how to make it and what it is doing...the rest of the world isn't far behind...

Sharing powerful stories from his anti-obesity project in Huntington, W. Va., TED Prize winner Jamie Oliver makes the case for an all-out assault on our ignorance of food.

"renegade lunch lady" Ann Cooper talks about the coming revolution in the way kids eat at school -- local, sustainable, seasonal and even educational food.

In this fiery and funny talk, New York Times food writer Mark Bittman weighs in on what's wrong with the way we eat now (too much meat, too few plants; too much fast food, too little home cooking), and why it's putting the entire planet at risk.



Very inspirational videos. I feel fortunate that I was always raised around gardens with an understanding of how to cook and what a good garden tomato tastes like, what the plant looks like, how they smell. But I still have tons to learn...When we go back to didim for the summer hope to plant a garden(one that thrives unlike last year..) and compost. Start to understand what organic gardening takes.

The above videos refer to the disgusting state of American school lunches. This is a topic that has greatly disturbed my darling sister as she researches it for her master in public health. I can say when I went to university in Turkey I was always impressed with the state schools and I experienced it in the hospitals when I had baby dear a decent lunch program-well balanced. Also it was so cheap like 1TL(75 cents) per day which is unheard of in USA...Ok some days were hit or miss but it was nice to have the option and I loved the metal trays and always gave you real silverware- not plastic throw away stuff that adds to the landfill problems...



P.S. mom thanks for making our school lunches everyday of our school lives.

Balance...patience...building blocks...

I am floundering to find balance these days...

Balance with time.

Balance between being a good mom and having a second(ok I need a few hours even just once a week) to blog, to breathe, to think, to create, to be by myself all the while trying to nurture my marriage. ("but it's you turn to take her...")

Balance with looking towards the future and at the same time remember to live in the NOW! Our always tentative "plan" of living in Turkey these next 2-3 years then moving to Minnesota vs. living in the present enjoying my daughter growing, enjoying being a stay-at-home mom, enjoying my husband. Will I be so happy once we go back to MN for me? Will I have to work so much there that I will miss being a stay-at-home mom? It is actually a privilege that many don't have and yet I would like more?

Finding and exploring the benefits to this foreign life and to not stunting my growth by concentrating on moving back "home".

Balance with the idea of home. What makes a place home? a person home? What do I want in a home? Our new "home" is in Eskişehir even though neither of us want to stay here. This struggle between furnishing a big house and making it feel like home but not wanting to spend money. Just wanting to save since this is temporary? But I am so sick of constantly moving around and going back and forth between California and Turkey, then Minnesota and Turkey between cities within Turkey and back to USA.

I feel in a strange suspended state and yet it has been the craziest years of my life? Strange?

Balance between new roles and old independence. Balance with the freedom I should have(my husband thinks I have) since I don't "work" but balancing a job that is constant 24/7-motherhood.

When I think of myself as a traveler coming into Turkey I was fearless. Go anywhere ask anyone anything some how but now I have become so dependent on my husband to help me do things; a simple as call the water man to get water and to come with me to buy the new sewing machine I desperately want. What changed or did it change? Is this just real life living now not just vagabonding student? Or does he spoil me so because he just wants me to be happy and I let him and I have inhibited my independence somehow? Language is really what has hindered me. I am learning of course but still not there yet...

He isn't there yet either with his English sometimes I want to scream when I can't just speak without dulling down the vocabulary and yet I know that language learning is difficult -you really need to work at it- writing, studying!

I feel like I have been musing these same things this for the past year...uggg...


















I feel like something is brewing inside of me though...I need to make some things! I have many yummy ideas now mavisu and I need to go walk around the city and find a few supplies!

I feel like there are alot of awesome women(many expat and many mommas) doing some great things; art, connecting, helping, nuturing, talking, building relationships, building blocks!

A few great sites...expat+HAREM many great links to interesting women who share their stories and ideas!

expatwomen the home sick mother reminders resonate recently!:)

Also those great crafty sanity podcast I am eating up!

There is such power in hearing peoples stories and it is exciting times with etsy and social networking-some tips on using it prfessionally from Intarsia concept


Turkish houses/apartments are always made from these hollow bricks rebar and lots of cement. I am always facinated to watch them use random peices of wood to build molds for the cement.

Now home is where ever my husband and daughter are...

Again...sleep...

Need some rebar and cement...

Oh yes and baby girl is flipping from back to front now! So exciting!